
How to Stop Getting Emotionally Hijacked in Stressful Moments
Aug 27, 2025Ever walked away from a conversation thinking…
"Why did I just say that?"
Maybe your heart was racing, your words came out sharper than you intended, and afterward all you felt was guilt… or maybe you shut down completely.
That’s what emotional hijacking feels like.
It happens to all of us—not because we’re broken or weak, but because our nervous systems are wired to protect us… even when the “threat” isn’t real.
In this post, we’ll uncover:
- What’s really going on when you get hijacked
- How to recognize it in the moment
- A quick, powerful reset you can use anywhere
- Why compassion (not shame) is the fastest way forward
What Is Emotional Hijacking?
Emotional hijacking happens when your brain’s fear center—the amygdala—takes control before your logical mind has a chance to weigh in.
It’s not about being “too sensitive.” It’s about your system doing exactly what it was designed to do: keep you safe.
The problem? In modern life, the threats aren’t physical—they’re emotional:
- A partner’s tone that sounds critical
- A child’s meltdown
- A boss’s last-minute email
- A memory that hits unexpectedly
The result? You snap. You shut down. You spiral. And then the shame creeps in.
Why It Keeps Happening (Even When You Know Better)
You can know your coworker’s comment wasn’t personal… and still feel your chest tighten.
You can know your child is just overwhelmed… and still hear your voice rise.
That’s because your body reacts faster than your brain can reason.
This is nervous system memory—your body storing emotional responses from past experiences, especially unprocessed stress or trauma. When something in the present resembles that old stress, your system jumps in to protect you.
It’s not weakness. It’s wiring.
Signs You’ve Been Emotionally Hijacked
You don’t always realize it right away, but here are some telltale signs:
- Feeling instantly flooded or overwhelmed
- Saying or doing something impulsively, then regretting it
- Freezing, fawning, or “keeping the peace” while feeling disconnected inside
- Replaying the moment long after it’s over
- Reactions that feel way bigger than the situation
Recognizing these cues is the first step to taking your power back.
How to Reset in the Moment
You don’t need to wait for a therapy session or a journaling hour to regain control.
Here’s a 90-Second Reset you can use anywhere:
- Pause & Notice – Stop what you’re doing. Take one breath. Name what you feel (“I feel tightness in my chest.”)
- Ground Your Body – Press your feet into the floor. Roll your shoulders. Name something you see out loud.
- Exhale Twice as Long – Inhale for 4 seconds, exhale for 8. Repeat 3–5 times.
- Re-enter With Choice – Ask yourself, “What do I want to say or do next?”
This simple sequence calms your stress response and brings your thinking brain back online.
(If you want more tools like this, check out the [Reaction Reset Mini Course]—a self-paced, real-life approach to emotional regulation.)
The Role of Self-Compassion
The biggest mistake we make after being hijacked? Beating ourselves up.
Judgment deepens the spiral. Compassion interrupts it.
You weren’t “overreacting.” You were overwhelmed.
You weren’t “too much.” You were protecting something tender inside you.
Healing begins when we stop apologizing for our reactions and start understanding them.
Want to Know Why You React the Way You Do?
Your reactions aren’t random—they’re patterned.
Each of us has a unique emotional “reactor type,” and knowing yours can help you shift how you respond under pressure.
Take the free What’s Your Reactor Type? quiz to discover your default style and get tools designed for your wiring.
Ready for a Deeper Reset?
If you’re tired of “just staying calm” with tricks that don’t work when you’re triggered…
If you want tools that actually work in the heat of the moment—while honoring your nervous system and emotional story…
You’re invited to the free masterclass: 3 Mindset Shifts to Reset Your Reactions & Reclaim Your Confidence.
Inside, you’ll learn:
- Why you keep getting hijacked (and why it’s not your fault)
- The mindset that actually works when you’re dysregulated
- How to build emotional safety for yourself and your relationships
Because your peace isn’t a personality trait—it’s a skill. And it’s one you can learn.
You don’t have to keep reacting from old wiring.
You get to lead your emotions—not be led by them.
Your nervous system isn’t the enemy—it’s the map.
And once you learn to read it, everything changes.